Lately, I have been having a tough time respecting my husband spiritually. I want a man who prays and goes to church with me. He says he is a Christian yet he never cares to engage with me on a spiritual level. I am getting really exhausted by this. I want to throw in the towel, and find a man who will pray with me. All I want is a better spiritual life…God will be okay with that right?
Dear Praying Alone,
This is a very difficult situation so we sympathize and hope that God may transform your husband… however, what you may not want to hear is that He may use you to do it. Here is what the Bible says on the subject:
“If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” 1 Corinthians 7: 13-16, ESV.
The logical conclusion is that if God has encouraged us to stay with an unbeliever (once married) then He would want you to stay with your husband who professes to be a believer yet disappoints you. There is a reason you desire to have a spiritual husband, because the ideal model is for the man to be the spiritual leader of the household. That is how God made the male and female roles to be. However, when a man is not truly being the man God called him to be, that does not mean you can stop being a Godly wife who lifts her husband up in prayer. Rather than looking for another man or thinking about other men as potential suitors (which is sin by the way), choose to pray that the Holy Spirit moves your husband to be the man who prays.
Please don’t think we are insensitive to your difficulty. However, the Bible shows that there is no justification for leaving your spouse solely because they are not meeting your Christian expectations. We at NAME have seen many faithful and devout women lead their husbands to God by being a testament to His grace and love. Sometimes our walk here in this life is not easy, and God has called us to live in a way that is difficult to do by ourselves, but remember the all powerful Holy Spirit is in you and will give you the strength to carry on! We at NAME believe God can change your ashes of despair into great beauty. He could be using you for a miracle. “How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?”
To potentially have one of your questions featured in next month’s newsletter, email a brief description of your situation to firstname.lastname@example.org and check next month to see if your question was selected! As always, if you are in crisis and/or need counseling, please call NAME headquarters or your local NAME center for more specified help. God bless.