Sex is extremely important to your marriage. The Bible even says so! “Do not deprive one another [husband and wife], except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer [often interpreted as fasting]; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5, ESV. If God thinks sex is important for your marriage, then you too should give value and attention to it. Most sex advice is full of physical tips, but in reality what works for one couple may not work as well for another. Here are our six ways you can definitely revolutionize your sex life:
1. Shut off your cell phone. You know what the worst part of smart phones are? They are literally every form of entertainment rolled into one device. Confession: My husband and I noticed that sometimes at night we are laying in bed next to each other, but he is playing a game and I am reading an article. The marital bed is for sex and sleep. A phone doesn’t relate to either of those two objectives and thus hinders intimacy. Create a policy to keep the phones off and cuddle instead. It will lead to better sex and more sleep!
2. Exercise together. We all know that when a person is in poor health they become more sluggish; it is science! However, we don’t tend to think about how poor health choices keep us from one another. The more you exercise, the more you will be able to handle frequent sex and your stamina will increase.
3. Have more “quickies.” I am not minimizing the importance of foreplay, but not all sex needs to be two hours blocked out of your schedule for a full romantic evening. The frequency of sex is quite important. When you have more physical intimacy, you will often be less irritable with one another and more unified. Also, one partner tends to have more of a desire than the other. If your partner is more desirous, minister to that desire by making it a priority.
4. Pray together daily. The reason this is on the sex list is that spiritual unity is vital to healthy intimacy. The Bible talks a lot about ‘oneness’ in marriage. In order to achieve the two becoming one principle, you have to focus on the spiritual unity as well as the physical unity. We are physical beings, but we are also spiritual beings. They are not to separate parts of ourselves, but are very much interconnected.
5. Get a good night’s rest. Are you sleep deprived? If so, you are lessening the energy you have for sex. Prioritizing sleep rather than a late night episode of Jimmy Fallon will benefit your health and energize your sex.
6. Set aside time each night to keep the TV off. My husband and I tend to eat dinner in front of the TV; however, we take the dog on an hour-long walk every night. During this walk, we talk, better enhancing communication between us. Talking often, asking for their opinion, and sharing your dreams makes your spouse feel valued and appreciated. It is actually great long-term foreplay. Increased communication lends to more comfortability and less of feeling “used.”