Men have a difficult time grasping what his wife means when she says she feels lonely. Time to translate woman code! Feeling lonely doesn’t mean she necessarily has to be alone. Yes, it may be an indicator that you are not spending enough time with her, which if so, you must adjust and decidedly make her a priority each day. Often though, it is an indicator not just of physical absence, but of not feeling as though, you are present in the room.
Think about this scenario. You had a tough day at work. Your boss chewed you out. You go home and put on ESPN and check out for the rest of the night. This is probably your ideal night as a single man; however, marriage is often a higher calling to a deeper level of grace and love. The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV).
Marriage is not about self-servitude. It is about humility and putting your wife’s needs above your own. The beautiful part about this model is that God will bless those who follow His will. When you continue to put your wife’s needs first, you will feel blessed and fulfilled by that. If your wife feels lonely, do not focus on whether or not that feeling is valid or take account of how often you are home. Instead, do what you can to address that feeling by being attentive to her needs and conversing with her rather than slumping off to the other room.
Also, her loneliness may be a deeper-rooted issue of depression. If this is the case, you still need to take a little responsibility by being the spiritual leader of the home that she needs. The Bible says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, ESV). What this verse says to me is that husbands should gently and honorably lead their wives in prayer. The best thing for depression is the presence of God. Help her eliminate depression by lovingly creating a spiritual atmosphere for her to thrive in Christ.