National Association of Marriage Enhancement

The Politics of Marriage

In current American politics, the overall country is unhappy with the President, Congress and a potential war in Syria. The reason why so many our unhappy is because people seem to be feeling that everyone is pitting themselves against each other and not working together. Democrats are mad that the Republicans do not want to follow their ideas, and likewise Republicans are mad that Democrats will not appease their desires. We will not reveal our political opinions because that is not why this blog is being written. Instead, we want to give you an understanding of the politics of marriage and how to work well with each other.


Your marriage, like Congress, has two parties with differing opinions. Just because you got married as husband and wife does not mean you have lost your individuality and personal preferences! Obviously the goal in marriage is to become as unified on as many fronts as possible, but realistically there will always be areas that you disagree. Disagreements should not be looked at as areas of defeat, but as opportunities to compromise. It is through the process of compromise that teamwork is most developed. When you both agree, there is no tension that builds growth; it is with adversity that you feel stretched and pulled and a decision worked at together is that much more of an amazing accomplishment! Compromise by its very nature encourages communication, and communication is the lifeblood of every marriage. Differing opinions are not a problem of marriage; they are the foundation for which Christ best shows off his ability to reconcile!


Another aspect of politics and marriage is diplomacy. Good diplomacy keeps things calm and sorted out prior to, or instead of, a war. In marriage, this is the concept of respond versus react. Reactions are hot and in the moment; they often lead to intense frictions and overly expressed emotions. Reactions can spark a fire—a major argument (or war) that very quickly escaladed because the spouses are acting out of emotional feelings, as opposed to thoughtful considerations. A response has the element of thoughtful consideration; it often is aware of the onset of tensions and chooses to carefully tread, so as not to involve its anger in a destructive way. A responsive spouse understands that fighting is the last resort, and talking things through respectively is always the safer option.


Just some thoughts to think about for how you approach your marriage! Here are a few supportive verses as well:

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Prov 25:28)

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” (Song of Solomon 2:15)

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)