National Association of Marriage Enhancement



1. When Your Spouse Won’t Grow Up

A common theme of our society seems to be that younger people want to spend the entirety of their twenties having fun, spending money irresponsibly and using the majority of their time for entertainment. Many men who get married want to continue playing their video games all night. Many married women want to continue reckless spending habits without thinking about the future. These are just some examples of how refusing to “grow-up” may affect a marriage. The first step to solve this is by communicating with your spouse about how their actions may hurt you. You also may need to temporarily lead and lovingly guide your spouse in the right direction. If your spouse is not being responsible, you should start being responsible because things will not get better if you just focus on wanting them to change without doing anything yourself. The most important thing to remember: Growing up is not about age; it is about maturity. No matter how old or young you are, it is your decision to be mature.


2. When You Are Too Busy to Date

For most people, this modern life is incredibly fast-paced. People are juggling jobs, parenting, church involvement, friendships, the gym, entertainment, errands, etc. Dating your spouse can be put on the back-burner. The solution is simply to move “dating your spouse” up on the priority list. You should have at least one kid-free date a month. If money is an issue, go to McDonalds for a 99-cent ice cream cone so that you can pay a babysitter. The money should never be an obstacle. In hindsight, the time spent together will be so much more valuable.


3. When the Gender Roles Seem Unclear

A growing trend is that many wives are becoming more of the breadwinner in the family or they are working alongside their husband and paying for daycare.  If the wife makes more money or even just supports her husband financially, it may almost be more important for the wife to find ways of recognizing her husband as a leader of the home. Speak highly of him as spiritual, disciplinary and financial leader to your children and to him. Be respectful to him. For husbands, be assertive and ask your wife for more of her respect. Communicate how she can better show her respect towards you.


4. When Microwaves Make All the Meals

Families don’t sit around the table as much as they used to. Bring the tradition back! If you are insecure with your cooking skills, make something easy or follow new simple recipes.  You may even want to order out.  The most important thing is to sit around the table making memories with your family and caring about one another’s lives.


5. When Porn is a Problem

Pornography is not unique to our modern day lives, but it has never been so readily available and easily accessible. It can be streamed on your television and searched on Google images. If you or your spouse has had a pornography problem, it is up to you both to become stringent on internet use, history and bills. Accountability between spouses is extremely important and cannot be stressed enough. Also you may want to offer more frequent sex so the temptation lessens. Most importantly, pray together daily—spiritual warfare against the enemy.