Christians, YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD! That is where you should gain your identity from. If you put your identity in what you do, where you work or who you are married to, you put far too much pressure on those areas of life. There will come a time when you are not doing well at work or your marriage is difficult, and if that is where you put your identity, you will become easily discouraged. However, if you put your identity in who you are in Christ, then you will feel much more empowered by His strength.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.” 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
Again, notice the second part of that verse: the world doesn’t understand us because it does not understand whom we know. What it offers cannot compete with what has already been supplied to us through our salvation. The world cannot offer us any better identity than the one we already have—children of God! Why then do we keep striving to identify with things of this world? In some ways, it is okay to have a certain amount of recognition in those things. Your job, your marriage, and your hobbies are not wrong, but if that is what defines the innermost part of you then you are failing to acknowledge the most important facet of who you are—child of God!
You may be wondering how would a proper identity help strengthen my marriage? It is not the healthy role of a spouse to be fulfilling an area that should be fulfilled by God. When a spouse attempts to fully compensate for their spouse’s lack of self-esteem, it limits both parties from being able to experience the full freedom of what it is to live in Christ. Marriage should not be a draining process. Good self-identity in Christ is the springboard off which a marriage can truly take flight.