National Association of Marriage Enhancement

4 Times to Hit the Pause Button in Marriage

Do you remember the movie Click with Adam Sandler? The premise was that Sandler’s character was given a remote control that could rewind, pause, fast forward, and control his life. Despite the corniness, there were some great messages about living in the moment with your spouse and family. While we don’t have a magic remote to control our life, we do have the ability to pause in the moment. Here are the 4 moments we should hit the pause button in marriage:

1. When you don’t know what to say…

There are moments when your response to a specific situation will be extremely important. It is will be important to wait a moment before you have a response. A quick reaction is often more damaging to a situation than a slow and calculated response. The Bible says, “do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 29:20). Pause. Wait. Ponder. Respond.

2. When you need to seek out counsel…

There may be some moments in your marriage where you feel like you are facing a trial larger than you feel like you have the ability to deal with. Counseling and help is not embarrassing; it is often a necessary part of the journey of marriage. The Bible says, “a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15). Counseling is not shameful or embarrassing. If you are in a difficult situation or trial, please take a moment to consider going to a NAME center for free couple-to-couple biblical counseling.

3. When you have been fighting a lot lately…

Let’s be honest. We all can hear ourselves out loud and realize when we are speaking out of turn. I have moments where I realize that I have been argumentative and difficult lately. The right response is to pause, take a deep breath and wait before you continue nagging and badgering. The Bible says, “it’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home” (Proverbs 21:9, NLT). Have you been difficult toward your spouse lately? Pause. Proceed calmly.

4. When worry and anxiety have been defining your relationship…

There will be seasons that have extraneous difficulty, seasons of financial difficulty, seasons of health problems, etc. These weighty difficult issues can take a stressful toll on your marriage. “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up” (Proverbs 12:25). If this be your season, take a moment to pause and rejuvenate with your spouse. Encourage one another. Pause to minister to your spouse in their difficulty.