Many times in life we go through trials that feel as though they will never end. We wait in anticipation for that day when we can finally say, “that WAS a valley”. Marriage troubles can be this way as well.
We may feel as though we know our spouse very well and sometimes we even decide their destiny without looking at them with the eyes of Christ. In our heartache, and disparity we think to ourselves, “I KNOW they will NEVER change”, “I know there is no hope in getting them to come to church”, and “I don’t think they will ever accept Christ into their heart”. We may think things like, “they drink, they cheated on me, they curse, they’ve told me their opinion on religion, there is no hope”.
Many of you reading this may feel this way daily, these hopeless thoughts plague you.
But let me give you HOPE.
This was my life and these were my thoughts. And I want you to know that you are not alone. God is with you. He walks beside you.
I had a husband who didn’t believe. I had a husband who I thought God could never change. I thought he was too stubborn and too prideful to ever consider Christianity. I had decided his fate without understanding the true power of Christ.
One day, around year two of our marriage, after struggling through devastation in our marriage caused by pornography, alcohol, and infidelity, we had a huge fight. I decided I needed to make a choice to stay or leave my husband, I was leaning towards leaving.
I prayed to God, and I asked him to show me what to do. We had a son who was only a few months old, and honestly, I didn’t want him to grow up in a broken home, but I didn’t know what the RIGHT thing to do was. I wasn’t going to church, and I wasn’t living how I knew God wanted me to live. But one thing I knew, from years of AWANA’s at the local church, was no matter what God would NEVER leave me, and God loved me.
I fell asleep and awoke in the middle of the night. And let me note that once I’m asleep I DON’T wake up.
I woke up and saw that my husband was not in bed. I got up expecting to catch him doing something that would further tear our marriage apart.
What I found I will NEVER forget.
He was on the computer, and I asked what he was doing, he said he was writing a poem (in my head I’m thinking “oh sure…yea right”) then he shows it to me.
It was a poem about Adam and Eve, how it only took 7 days for God to create Adam and Eve and they were made perfectly for each other, and how it only took my husband 7 days to fall in love with me (he proposed 7 days after our first date! That’s another story for another time).
So here I am, I’m standing there listening to this poem, and I’m in shock, I’ve never seen God so real as He was right in this moment. My husband was not the type to write these kinds of things, in fact, I didn’t even know he knew about Adam and Eve.
I’m no dummy! This was my sign. STAY.
I stayed, and the next Sunday WE ALL WENT TO CHURCH!
The first day we went to church, my childhood church, he accepted Christ.
(I’m pretty sure it was the following Sunday after that, that we became youth leaders)
Our lives changed in a moment.
I tell you this story, part of my story, to give you hope. Do not think that God is not powerful enough to change your marriage, or to change your spouse. You may think how I thought, “If I couldn’t change him, NO ONE CAN”. That’s a lie.
Now listen CLOSELY to this: The truth is WE cannot change our spouse. It is impossible. They have things from their past they need to heal from, they have things that happened in their childhood that you may not even know about, they have hurts that you cannot see. Only God can heal those areas.
Let go of trying to change your spouse and PRAY that God will change them.
We need to place our hope, our trust, our lives, and our marriages in God’s perfect hands.
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”. Isaiah 40:31 NIV
If you let go, God will give you supernatural strength to endure whatever the world throws at you.
If your marriage is struggling, don’t give up, God has a plan for your marriage. You have no idea who God is preparing your testimony for! My husband and I have been blessed to share our testimony and help save other marriages. Marriage is hard work, it means praying for your husband and wife daily and intentionally, it means sacrificing sleep to spend time with your spouse.
God loves your spouse more then you could ever love them. He wants them to know Him. He wants them to follow Him. He wants your marriage to succeed. Just like you can’t force your spouse to believe, God will not either. But through your prayer, your steadfast love, your example of who Christ is, your spouse will come to know Christ and your marriage will be forever changed.
Rejoice knowing that your hope rests in Christ alone. Pray until you see results thank God for all He has done, and then pray more!
“ Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)
If your marriage is currently suffering as a result of an affair, pornography or any other marital issues please seek free counseling from one of our NAME counseling centers.